Living in a World of the Disabled

Living in a world surrounded with disabilities, I often find myself in a dilemma between that and a world of "normalcy."

A friend of a friend of a friend is in her fifth month of pregnancy and after having done an amniocentesis, they found that her baby has this 'trisomy 18' which the doctor's have determined the baby will not live more than two months after birth. The mother has chosen to abort...to terminate the pregnancy.

It is one of the most agonizing, tormenting news to receive from a doctor. That your baby will not live more than two months, or to be stillborn. They told me my baby would be the latter. It has to be the most agonizing decision to terminate. I can't imagine the guilt....the loss...the hopelessness.

It is hard indeed to come to that decision. But its also extremely hard to be willing to literally sacrifice your life to care for a disabled child. My life is so out of the norm, the stress can be unbearable. By choice I put my life on the back burner and have devoted it all to my daughter. Living in a world of disability most certainly is not the norm, putting it mildly.
Its indeed a sacrifice. But the rewards are well worth the sacrifice.

I wish I could tell this mother that maybe....just maybe the doctors are wrong in their prognosis in this little baby's life. They have been wrong so many times, it makes me sad when couples will rely on these doctors. Blinded so much by their trust in them, not realizing that they do have a choice. It would no doubt be a difficult and bumpy road to go down. But to make that choice, willing to sacrifice your life for the life of the one you brought here...can be one of the most wonderful rewards ever given to a parent. The world of disability is one of the hardest path's to go down. But that glimmer of hope...that ray of sunshine makes it all so worth the effort. I only wish I could tell this mother...sometimes....sometimes, its not so bad.

I know of so many mothers who have been told their baby wouldn't live to be two years old, or one month...or in my case it would be stillborn. It makes me sad that these doctors will tell us this. But because we chose to rely on a higher power or an instinct that only a mother could know...our children are thriving today. What a blessing that is. How sad that is for this mother who has chosen to terminate what could possibly be the most wonderful gift to be given. But who am I to say. Its just the possibilities that these doctor's refuse to tell us, thats very sad.
The doctor told this mother, it would be better to abort.

It is a dilemma living in two worlds when I'm faced with a mother who trusts what her doctor is telling her. And the difference in what I know from experience.